Peggy: "No TV Al - Were Talking" Al: "You´re my wife - I will not talk to you while I have a TV"
Al (To Bud): "Son, let this be a lesson to you - never do tequila shooters within a country mile of a wedding chapel"
Al (to Peg): "Gee honey, I don´t regret going to college. Why then I might not have married you. What would have become of me then? I´d be living a lonely empty existence ordering pizza and hookers till I dropped dead with a slice in my mouth and a greasy hooter in my hand. Or Vice Versa.
Al: Did you know that not only is an election coming up, but something big is going on? They are trying to sneak by a two cent beer tax. Two Cents. And what really gets me is that the money will be used for education. Well I´ll by damned if I am going to pay two cents so that some moron can learn to read.
Al: Christmas is not the time for regrets . . . that´s what anniversaries are for.